Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Sexy Disco Hedgehog

This is probably about as interesting as a story about selling Ugg boots on eBay can get. Let's start at the beginning. I feel that I should give you a little background information as to how I ended up owning a pair in the first place. Back in 2006 when I actually gave a shit about what other people thought of me I had an overwhelming urge to own a pair of Ugg boots. I just needed a plausible excuse and someone to buy them for me. Having decided to go on holiday to Iceland over the New Year, I had the perfect reason and timing. My boyfriend and Nan paid half each (the boots were £200) and I was happily stomping around like every other hefty Kate Moss wannabe in the UK (and California). I really thought that the boots would enable me to look like this: 



But the reality was this: 



I wore them to death and in the end they were as completely fucked as a pair of boots can be; No grip on the soles, holes in the outer and a smell which can only be described as 'unique'.





Like many other stuggling freelancers I turn to eBay in times of need to get money to buy cider and rabbit food so one day I inevitably decided to put the boots up for sale, knowing that someone, somewhere, would buy them. I guess I should have seen it coming really...

 

Eager beaver!
 
 

I'm an honest seller. It was Christmas 2006 though so a whole extra year of stink thrown in for free!

 

Are you sure?

 

I decide to subtly take advantage of the situation with a gentle reminder of the retail price whilst also maintaining my appearance as a decent, honest person by stating the need for refurbishment.




Sounds pretty damn good to me! Maybe this guy would like to buy all of my stinking, half dead footwear?

'Worth a try' I think to myself, eyeing up the other sweaty morsels that are kicking about my room.

 

This is when I start to wonder exactly what he wants my boots for. I imagine some kind of huge art installation. Maybe a giant Godzilla constructed entirely of Ugg boots. The back of my mind has other ideas though. We won't go there...


I really could have taken advantage here but for some reason my conscience kicked in. I decide to play along a little bit and humour the big weirdo.


 WTF?!!




*nervous laughter*

 

Cue extra kisses for being a slut!

 

I'm actually sorting though my wardrobe for a sexy ensemble that will enhance the beauty of these amazing boots whilst also giving me the opportunity to showcase my model good looks. Who knows, maybe 'P' will be really impressed then buy all of my worn out shoes and pay me extra for sexy pics.



Don't worry 'P', I have no intention of cleaning the boots - I don't even do the dishes!
 Is this guy for real?!

 

Understatement...









 
"jeans or..." Or what?!!! 
Yeah of course 'P', BFFs 4 lyfe!!


 

Ok, confession time - I was selling my Uggs to get the money to pay for my...FITFLOPS -_- 
(haters gonna hate...)

 

Really? You really want me to talk dirty about having wet feet?


I'm just showing off now.

It turns out 'P' had paid before I even sent the pics so I decided to terminate our relationship here. It was for the best...


 
...


    
 *sad face*