Thursday, 19 April 2012

Tit Flaps.

So I went to town yesterday and tried a ton of clothes on even though I don't have any money. It was fun and torture mixed together. The torture was multiplied by the fact that whenever I go to TK Maxx I start to really need the toilet in the worst way ever. I don't know why but something about those stark surroundings and rails upon rails of discounted goods forces my bowels to groan like a sinking Titanic. They used to have a toilet in the children's section but it's always out of use now. So there I was, hobbling about with a basket full of summer dresses and a strange silver number which I grabbed for nostalgic value because my mum made me wear something similar to a school disco once and I spent the evening in tears because everyone laughed and called me "Spaceman".
I tried on the clothes but they mostly looked shit and I ended up settling for a new bra instead because my tits looked like a couple of uninflated fire hoses. Thanks number three oh! It seems somewhat ironic that just the day before I got asked for ID when buying superglue in Poundland - apparently I look 20. And like a glue-sniffer.


1 comment:

  1. God help us all if that's how low they get by 30. You could sling them as weapons!

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