Sunday, 22 April 2012

Tired + Builders = Cougar

I'm so tired and hungover and useless. I hate when I drink too much on a Saturday as Sunday is my favourite day and it's such a shame to write it off. A crying shame in fact (whatever a crying shame is).
I love Sundays because I don't have to hide from random phone calls and knocks at the door and I don't get scary letters through my letterbox.
So anyway, this week I have been most successful at getting free dinners and doing sinful things. I have been most unsuccessful at doing any kind of work as my laptop has been acting like a dick and I've been spending all my time eating said free dinners.
Next week is a bit rubbish because I have to get up at the ungodly hour of 7am on Tuesday as builders are coming to fix my windows, which haven't opened for about 10 years. Little bit of a fire hazard. I had taken to propping them open with 90s films on VHS but apparently that's not cool anymore and the landlord wants to actually fix them. Fair dos. For those of you who don't know me I should probably let you know that I HATE builders. They have been the bain of my life for the past 2 years as there is a building site opposite my flat. They are constantly out there on the roof of the building opposite and can see everything I do, which isn't a lot but involves me wandering about in stained pyjamas, licking plates and carrying out other dirty habits I've acquired through years of single occupancy.
Sometimes the builders heckle me which I find ever so slightly inappropriate and sometimes they start 2 hours earlier than is legal in the morning and sing very loudly as well as making the building shake with their incompetent breaking of large pieces of rock.
I have been privy to such audial delicacies as a previously unheard rendition of Robbie Williams' Angels - "And through is aaaallll, she offers me protection, a lotta love and erections..." -  and other rarities.
As you can imagine I am quite anxious about being in my apartment with two builders for 6 whole hours. Especially as my entire apartment is about the same size as one fair sized living room.
Then on Wednesday I have to attend court again because I owe rent and my landlord is trying to evict me.

Can't somebody please pay me to write and draw pictures full time?

1 comment:

  1. When I become a famous actress and fund my own animated show, you can animate it. And I won't rip you off like most of these American dickheads do.