Friday, 30 March 2012

Meal for One?

I've come to the conclusion that food isn't designed for people who live alone. I have to keep bread in the fridge because it looks at me and goes "Ahaahaha, you can't eat me. Not ALL of me! You're a loser! I'm going to turn green and then you'll have to scrape bits off before you eat meeee".
I've been known to keep a loaf of bread for 3 weeks and still be eating it, avoiding the slightly strange taste and texture by scraping the fur off, toasting it and covering it in Marmite.  I also tend to forget I've even bought eggs and by the time I remember I have to put them in a jug of water and check which way they're floating (thanks Delia).
On the rare occasion I treat myself by cooking something normal like chili con carne or spaghetti bolognaise I end up having to eat it at least twice a day for the next week as there's so much left over. Also when I buy a pizza I think "Oooh, I'll have half for dinner tonight and half tomorrow." No you won't, fatty. You'll eat it all at once! It's true. I did.

So yeah, last night was Chili con Carne Night, tonight is Mexican Night (chili con carne night), tomorrow is Meaty Bean Fest (chili con carne...) and sunday is Roast Bean Delight (you get the picture...)


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